Dr. Jurgen Vanhauwe was born to a conservative catholic Belgian family in 1973. He was my husband of ten years, and we shared our lives between the USA, Brazil, and Belgium. Our whirlwind of a fantastic relationship started in 2006 after we met drunk in a gay bar in Chicago.

After I met him, my empty and lonely life turned into a rollercoaster full of emotions, and I felt alive like never before.  It didn’t take me long to realize we were literally the opposite of each other, as stark as black and white. I was almost 40 years old, and due to my fundamentalist evangelical, I used to believe a God would kill me or send me to hell for being gay.

On the other hand, Jurgen was like a kid with a one-day pass ticket to Disneyland in hand to play. After coming out to his ex-wife and family, he was willing to be happier. It was a beautiful sunny day in Belgium when he introduced me as his boyfriend to his entire family.  I will always remember his confidence and pride when he held my hand and walked with me to a lunch party at his brother’s house.

With a generous personality, he used to say, “If you need me, please, do not send me a text message. Just ring at my door. We are always ready for you with a good bottle of wine or champagne,” and that was true. He would be at the door smiling to you even if you had just woke us up from our ‘sacred’ Sunday afternoon nap.

I consider myself a quiet and cautious person while he was a hyperactive human. I’d like to think that some humans vibrate on a higher frequency of energy that most of us do.

As a scientist, he used to consider himself an agnostic person. That all took a dramatic turn after his out of body experience in 2012.  He turned into a medium (psychic) at a span of only four years as well as an artist.

At first, he thought he was going crazy. All of a sudden, he was “being taught by entities” an absurd amount of information about quantum physics, meditation, sacred geometry, holistic stuff, and profound life philosophies, to mention a few. The funny thing is that Jurgen was a staunch opponent of any kind of religion or spirituality. The professed idea that ‘everybody has free-will’ and that ‘if we think positive, positive things will happen to us’ or ‘we have to follow this and that in other to whatever,’ NEVER resonated with him.

“Is that true? Try to preach these ideas to a crazy homeless person,” he would instigate people who would gratuitously throw those ideas at him.

During those very intense and tumultuous four years, Jurgen wrote two books. Inspired by the incredibly enlightening info that was being “downloaded into his brain,” he wrote about new and deep insights. Such things as nature, reality as we perceive it, and the game of life. Waking up on both sides & The Chronicles of All-Time: Remember to Forget, were written to help those who have been struggling to live a happy and fulfilled life. With intriguing humor, he describes the process of spiritual awakening through the scope of his own hilarious and painful experiences; of when he was pulled out of his body into “Heaven.”

The many world views presented in his books allow one to see the many challenges and opportunities in this ever-changing universe for their personal growth to live a meaningful life and not turn into a living zombie. Jurgen describes parts of his journey in a beautiful narrative that is sprinkled with divine insights and loftiness; He merges the knowledge of the known with the unknown, which he obtained through being tutored by his Divine Source.  All presented with love, gratitude, and appreciation for all. His ex-wife and I have developed a very loving and respectful friendship since we met – while they were still going through the divorce. She was the first one I called when I first heard of his passing in 2016 to what I call ‘another dimension.’

The wish to love and be loved is an innate characteristic of human beings.

In my case, the fear and guilt I used to have in life did not allow me to flavor with happiness and peace of mind such a beautiful time of my life.

This site is to share some facts of my life, with and without Jurgen, which I find interesting. Especially the so-called unconventional ones because they do not follow the “correct life protocol” that is passed on us from generation to generation. Life is based on the teachings we have acquired through family, religion, or the society in which we are inserted.

A time traveler, like he used to call himself, or an Angel, as what he has become to me now, it does not matter. I just feel honored to have had the opportunity to share our love experience together.

I have no intention of judging what is right or wrong here. But a neutral look at the information on this page could be useful for you.  Enjoy it!!


  1. What is said is absolutely beautiful of this wonderful person, that we continue to celebrate. There are so many words that can be said. Yet there will never be the perfect words to express Jurgen’s energy. He will remain a pink angel forever.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: